How normal are you?

It started out to be a great day
There’s no reason it shouldn’t end that way……or is there?

I’m easily irritated by those sanctimonious do-gooders who obey every posted speed limit, especially when there’s miles of empty highway in front of you. I want to pass him so badly but then I don’t. I keep muttering something about “Oh well, if I stay behind him I wont be breaking the law either.” That thought flutters hopelessly, as within the next mile, I go flying past him. That guy is not normal, ninety percent of us do not drive like that, at least the 90% around my neighborhood don’t, do they?

I’m off to pick up my sweetie, after her long night of Wal-Mart. We can’t help it, we smile a lot when we see each other. She’s going to keep me company while I pick up supplies town-side.
The city still gets me all mixed up. I drive up to this corner, watching the traffic, while I’m still rolling and that’s what it is, my variation of the rolling California stop and go around the corner.

The officer asks if I noticed the red light because he claims that I drove right through it:

“I swear that I did not see any red light, where was it!? Can’t you just give me a warning?”

“And did you know that your brake lights are not working either and oh by the way, you’re driving with an expired inspection tag.”

This guy is good, he smiles extraordinarily big the whole time. All of his teeth are white but one of them is kinda’ crooked. He’s still smiling when he asks for my signature. What can you do with a cop like that? I’m mad at myself for smiling back at him. I wanted to scowl but both ‘Lani and I are smiling and telling him to have a nice day. Guys like that are not normal.

We do the “wah, wah, wah” thing for about the next ten miles, berating all law enforcement in general and about how stupid and ridiculous some rules are. “Did you see the red light? I did not see any red light. That guy knew we were from the country and took advantage of us.”

“$97! Where are we going to get that from?”

Its hunger that brings conversational change and helps us to calm down. We decide on a ‘Big Philly’ at Subway’s back in Laie. Everything is fine until ‘Lani decides that she wants a fountain refill. She has been sitting crossed legged and is now unable to uncross them because she has gotten her shoe laces caught in her ankle bracelet. She is embarrassed! She wants me to share the embarrassment. I tell her no, I don’t want to help. Its beneath me and very unbecoming, but two more wah, wah’s and I’m on the floor.
Its amazing how intertwined her laces and anklet are. I would like to see in slow-motion just how it got like that. Now with my dignity all shot to heck, I’m sure I must be bleeding somewhere. With my head still down, I slide back into my seat and wait for the whole world to stop looking at us/me. When I raise my head, it’s the same, there’s still only me and her.

She smiles and says, “Thank you honey.”

Sometimes she’s just not normal!

Aloha
Papanui the story teller
Aaron T Watene
Sept. 24, 2009