The man who could not help

(A personal story as told to me by Taiana Wolfgramm/Brown)

This story occurred in 1998 when I was employed as an on-call nurses aide, in this instance, at the Saint Marks hospital located in Salt Lake City, Utah.

This occasion necessitated that I come to the hospital to take care of an elderly gentleman as he approached his last hours of mortality. This was not new to me, it was something I had been doing for quite some time.
When I arrived at his bedside, I could see that he had not been cleaned and washed yet, therefore I immediately set about attending to him. I sponge-bathed him without removing his undergarments. I changed and refreshed his bedding and saw to his overall comfort. There was a smile of appreciation.

At some point, while I was not watching, the gentleman had made to reach for something behind himself and in so doing found himself hanging out of the bed. I hurried to lift him back. I became aware of another man standing in the room but I thought nothing of it as I tried to lift the patient back onto his bed.

In my difficulty, I thought that the other man, who was obviously there to see the patient, might step to assist but he did not. To this day I do not know why I did not ask directly for his help, though I thought the situation obviously warranted. Instead I asked him to find another person to come and help me. The man returned and said that someone would be there in a minute. He declared himself to be the patients middle son and gave his name. I continued to struggle and eventually got the patient back into the bed on my own.

The very unhelpful man remained standing at the other end of the room. The patient eventually saw him and the recognition was one of pure surprise.

Eventually this kindly patient would pass away in my arms. When the family arrived they wanted to know who was there with him when he left. The staff then gave them my name and the name of the other man who had been there, describing everything as I had made it known to them. Upon receiving this information I was told that several members of the man’s family broke down and cried, including his spouse and daughter and others.

Sometime later a friend of mine would call and ask whether or not I had seen the kind remarks made of me in the local newspaper. This man’s family expressed their deep gratitude for what I had done for him. The article also revealed that the other man in the room was the middle son who had passed away several years earlier.

This was the man who would not help because he could not!

I have learned much from this experience.

All my love to my family and friends,

Taiana,

By Aaron T Watene
Papanui the storyteller
July 12, 2009
(With apologies for any errors in the story)